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Your Maine Forum Forum Index -> Around The Water Cooler -> Jokes & Humor, Etc

Old Folks Joke/s
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SPIDER
Official Mainah


Joined: 27 Mar 2006
Posts: 1328
Location: "The Worlds Most Famous Beach"


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. . . 'Irish Viagra'

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help
in reviving her husband's libido.

"What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor.

"Not a chance," she said. "He won't even take an aspirin!"

"Not a problem," replied the doc. "Give him an Irish Viagra.

Drop it into his coffee. He won't even taste it.
Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went."

It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who
inquired as to her progress.

The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah!
T'was horrid! Just awful, doctor!"

"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.

"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the
effect was almost immediate. He jumped hisself straight up, with
a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely!

With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth
flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and
there, making wild, mad, passionate love to me on the tabletop!

It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"

Why so terrible?" asked the doctor. "Do you mean the sex
your husband provided wasn't good?"

"Oh, no, no, no, Doctor, the sex was fine indeed!"

"Twas the best sex I've had in 30 years!"

But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show
me face in Starbucks again!"

'S' _______________________

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Post Mon 19 Mar, 2007 10:24 am 
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Kennebec
Mosquito


Joined: 18 Feb 2007
Posts: 197
Location: Somewhere near a stream full of trout


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Q: Do you know what oral sex with a senior citizen tastes like?

A: Depends.

Post Thu 22 Mar, 2007 6:29 pm 
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SPIDER
Official Mainah


Joined: 27 Mar 2006
Posts: 1328
Location: "The Worlds Most Famous Beach"


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.. . . . . . .

An Old Timer Remembers

A 'Computer' was something you seen on TV,
from a science fiction show.

A 'Window' was something you hated to clean.
And 'Ram' was the cousin of a goat.
'Meg' was the name of my girlfriend.
And a 'Gig' was a job for the nights.

Now they all mean different things.
.. And that really 'Mega Bytes' ..

An 'Application' was for employment.
A 'Program' was a TV show.
A 'Cursor' was someone who used profanity.
A 'Keyboard' was a piano.

'Memory' was something that you lost with age.
A 'CD' was a bank account.

And if you had a '3 inch Floppy', you hoped nobody
would find out.

'Compress' was something you did to the garbage,
not something you did to a file.
And if you unzipped anything in public you'd be
in jail for a while.

'Log On' was adding wood to the fire.
A 'Hard Drive' was a long trip on the road.
A 'Mouse Pad' was where a 'Mouse' lived.
And a 'Backup' happened to your commode.

'Cut', you did with scissors.
'Paste', you did with glue.
A 'Web' was something a spider made.
And a 'Virus' was the flu.

I guess I'll stick to my pen and paper,
and the 'Memory' in my head.

I hear nobody's been killed in a 'Computer Crash'.

But when it happens they all wish they were 'Dead' !

'S' --------

. . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . 'HAPPY EASTER'

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Post Sun 08 Apr, 2007 3:04 pm 
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SPIDER
Official Mainah


Joined: 27 Mar 2006
Posts: 1328
Location: "The Worlds Most Famous Beach"


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Wink

~ SENIOR MOMENTS ~

Link

__
'S'

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Post Thu 06 Sep, 2012 5:52 am 
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SPIDER
Official Mainah


Joined: 27 Mar 2006
Posts: 1328
Location: "The Worlds Most Famous Beach"


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If you bump into an Old Fart on the sidewalk he will apologize.

If you pass an Old Fart on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady.

Old Farts trust strangers and are courtly to women.

Old Farts hold the door for the next person and always, when walking,
make certain the lady is on the inside for protection.

Old Farts have moral courage and personal integrity.

They seldom brag unless it's about their children, grandchildren or vehicles.

It's the Old Farts who know our great country is protected, not by politicians,
but by the young men and women in the military serving their country.

This country needs Old Farts with their work ethic, sense of responsibility,
pride in their country and decent values.

We need them now more than ever.
Thank God for Old Farts!

Pass this on to all the Old Farts you know.

I was taught to respect my elders.

scratch It's just getting harder to find them ....

_______

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Post Mon 20 May, 2013 1:57 pm 
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